


Yes, Dear

by my_mad_fatuation



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Co-workers, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hate to Love, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 19:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11698377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_mad_fatuation/pseuds/my_mad_fatuation
Summary: Finn invents a girlfriend to make his ex jealous, but when it comes time to prove her existence, his only hope is his belligerent coworker, Rae.





	Yes, Dear

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a silly thing I slapped together--painfully--all for the sake of using a bunch of my favourite overused fanfic tropes in one story.

As Finn exited his boss’s office, he felt good. His interview for the promotion had gone well, and he figured he was a shoe-in.

He felt good, at least, until he saw Rae sitting outside the office, waiting for her turn to interview, and his mood plummeted. He knew other people were being interviewed for the position, of course, but he didn’t expect Rae to go for it.

Not that he had anything to worry about. Sure, her numbers were technically better than his, but he’d been working there eight months longer than she had, so he had more experience up his sleeve.

It was just that everything Rae did was completely irritating. The way she talked loudly at staff meetings. The way she clacked at her keyboard, sitting right across from him. The way she made everybody else laugh all the time.

“How’d it go, Finn?” she asked in that derogatory tone of hers as he walked past.

He looked back at her as he kept walking. “Really well. You’d better look out.”

“Same to you,” she replied.

Finn frowned in confusion until he found himself tripping over a rubbish bin, as he hadn’t been watching where he was going. He could hear Rae laughing in the background, so he quickly regained his composure and went back to his desk.

When he got there, he found he had an email from Stacey, and he hesitated to open it. He was worried about why she might be contacting him. Though it wasn’t like she could dump him again, right?

Besides, maybe his plan had worked. Perhaps fabricating a girlfriend actually did make her jealous, and now she wanted him back. She always did seem to like him more when he was unavailable.

The email had no subject line—Stacey never liked to use one—so he had to open it to find out what it was about. It took him several minutes to work up the courage, though.

 _“You heard that Steve and Karen are getting married, right?”_ the message read. _“Of course you did, he’s your best mate. Anyway, I’m throwing them an engagement party this Saturday, so you’d better be there. And bring your girlfriend. I’d love to meet her.”_

“Is that a work email or a personal email?”

Finn looked back over his shoulder as Rae walked past him on the way to her desk.

“Work, obviously,” he replied, closing the email abruptly. “Is your interview over already? That was fast.”

“Well, I know what I’m talking about,” she said smugly. “No filler words to kill time while I think of the answer.”

“I don’t use filler words.”

“Okay.” She turned her attention to her computer, thus ending their exchange. It infuriated Finn how she did that sort of thing. He couldn’t even have a good argument with her.

But he had more important things to contend with at the moment, namely that he had two days to produce a girlfriend. Why didn’t he know more girls?

The only person he could think of was his friend, Izzy, but he wasn’t sure her boyfriend would appreciate him borrowing her like that. Not that she was anyone’s property, but still. He had to think of something else.

 _“Do you know any cute single girls?”_ he said in a message to his friend and coworker, Archie.

 _“Who’s asking?”_ Archie replied shortly.

_“Me. I need a date for an engagement party this weekend.”_

_“Does this mean you’re finally over Stacey?”_

_“I’m actually trying to make her jealous.”_

_“That’s messed up.”_

_“I know.”_

_“Well, you aren’t using any of my friends for that.”_

_“Come on, mate. Help me out.”_

_“Why don’t you ask Rae?”_ Archie suggested.

 _“You think she has a cute friend I could use?”_ said Finn.

_“No, I mean ask her to go with you. She already hates you, so you can’t possibly make things worse with her, right?”_

_“Thanks for being absolutely no help, Arch.”_

_“You’re welcome.”_

Finn glanced over the side of his monitor to look at Rae, who was just sitting there, working. He tried to consider what it would be like to pretend she was his girlfriend. Would Stacey even buy it? The two women were just so different from one another.

Rae, for instance, was not particularly feminine. She didn’t seem to care much about her appearance, she was loud and boisterous, and she was known to join the lads for a pint after work, instead of doing Ladies Night with the other women in the office. How could anyone believe he’d date someone like that after having been with Stacey?

“Quit staring at me, it freaks me out,” Rae said without even looking up at him.

It was only then that he realized he had been watching her for a good minute. “I’m not staring,” he said as he looked away quickly.

No, there was no way he could ask Rae for help with this.

At least, not until he was really desperate.

“Did you run that report yet?” she asked him the next day.

“No,” he said. “I thought you were doing it.”

She let out an exasperated sigh. “Did you even look at the chart this week? It’s your turn.”

“I thought I was doing filing this week.”

“And did you do the filing?”

“…No.”

“What do you even do around here, exactly?” she said.

He was about to try and come back with something clever, but got distracted by an email notification.

It was Izzy. He had asked her to go with him to the engagement party as a last resort.

 _“Hey Finn,”_ she wrote. _“You know I’d love to help you out, but I’m busy this weekend. Besides, I think you should just tell Stacey the truth. She’ll respect that.”_

She obviously didn’t know Stacey very well, then.

“Seriously,” Rae added, “you’re always on your email instead of doing your job.”

He couldn’t believe what he was actually considering, but he was _really desperate_ now. He took a deep breath and said, “Are you busy Saturday?”

She looked at him with her brow furrowed. “What?”

“I have this party thing to go to and I need to bring someone because… reasons,” he said.

“And you’re asking me?”

“Trust me, I’ve tried all my other options.”

“So I’m your absolute last choice?” she asked.

“Of course.”

She scowled but appeared to be thinking. “What kind of party is it?”

“Engagement party.”

“And you would provide the gift and transportation so that it doesn’t cost me anything?”

“Yes.”

She looked back at her computer and heaved a sigh. “What time?”

***

Finn tapped on the steering wheel as he waited in his car to pick up Rae outside her building. She was late.

“What took you so long?” he asked when she finally got into the car.

“I wanted to finish the film I was watching,” she said as she buckled herself in. “Besides, it’s good to be fashionably late.”

“That’s only for fashionable people,” he said, shifting the car into drive.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you could have at least made an effort, yeah?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

“But you look like a mess,” he said. “Your jeans have holes in them.”

“It’s the off-duty model look,” she said sarcastically.

He glanced at her and scoffed. “You couldn’t be a model.”

“Why, because I’m fat?” she said. “I’ll have you know there are plenty of—”

“No, because you’d never be able to stand there and let people tell you what to do.”

“Well… I suppose that’s true.”

“Though, erm, I should probably mention…” he added. “At this thing today… You sort of have to pretend to be my girlfriend.”

“That’s funny,” she said.

“I’m serious.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t agree to that when you asked me to come with you.”

“Look, I’ll make it up to you,” he said. “I’ll do all your reports for a month!”

“Keep talking,” she said after a beat.

“I’ll run errands for you for a month.”

“And?”

“And I’ll be your general servant for a month, okay?” he said pleadingly.

“Ugh, fine. What do I have to do, exactly?”

“Just pretend you like me.”

“I’m not sure my acting is good enough, but I’ll try.”

***

“Finn, good, you’re here at last,” said Stacey when Finn showed up at her flat for the party. “And you brought… your girlfriend, I presume?” She looked at Rae like she was sizing her up.

“This is Rae,” said Finn, putting his arm around Rae’s shoulders. “Rae, this is Stacey. My ex.”

“Ah,” Rae replied, like she now understood why he was doing all of this.

“Nice to meet you, Rae,” said Stacey, in a tone that Finn recognized as her fake voice.

“You too, Tracey,” said Rae as she shook Stacey’s hand.

“It’s Stacey.”

“Oops, my bad.”

Finn noticed Rae smile condescendingly at Stacey and wondered if she was just playing the new girlfriend role, or if she really was that unhappy to meet her.

“Well,” said Stacey, “Steve and Karen are already here, so come on in.”

Finn followed Stacey inside with Rae close behind him, and introduced her to all of his friends. In no time, she had them all laughing with her. Typical.

“Finn, your girlfriend is great,” Karen told him when she found him skulking in the kitchen.

“Yeah, thanks,” he said unenthusiastically.

“She’s definitely livened up the place.”

“That’s Rae for ya.”

“Anyway, I wanted to ask— _we_ wanted to ask,” she continued, gesturing towards her fiancé across the room, “would you be our Best Man?”

“Me? Really?” he said, pretending to be surprised.

“Give over,” she said as she gave him a small shove in the arm. “You’re Steve’s best mate, and I kinda like you, too.”

“Of course I will,” he replied, and she gave him a hug.

“Am I interrupting something?” Rae said as she approached them.

Karen laughed and let go of him. “He’s all yours.”

“Oh, please, I can barely stand the guy,” Rae replied playfully, putting a hand on Finn’s chest.

Karen laughed again before excusing herself from the conversation.

“You can stop touching me now,” Finn grumbled once she’d left.

“Jeez, you’re so sensitive,” said Rae, patting him hard on the chest a couple of times, which caused him to cough. “Anyway,” she continued, “I’m about done with this place.”

“But everyone loves you here,” he said. “Present company excluded.”

“I know, I’m pretty awesome, but I’d like to get home soon.”

“Yes, dear.”

***

The next month was pretty brutal for Finn. Doing all of Rae’s reports and errands and such was exhausting, considering he still had his own shit to deal with.

At least it would all be over soon. Just one more day of this, he thought. Until he realized she would need to reprise her role one more time.

 _“Finn, how do you spell your girlfriend’s full name?”_ Karen had asked him in an email. _“Steve wants to do proper invitations and place cards.”_

 _“Rachel Earl,”_ he replied reluctantly.

He looked up at Rae, who was busy working across from him.

“What did I tell you about staring?” she said after what was definitely too long for him to have been looking.

“I’m not… staring, I just… I have to ask for another favour,” he said.

She stopped what she was doing and glared at him. “What now?”

“Well, it’s sort of the same favour as before,” he added. “Just for one more day.”

“A whole day?”

“Er, well, two days actually. The rehearsal dinner and the wedding itself.”

“And why should I help you?” she asked, clearly irritated by his request.

“I’ll be your servant until the wedding,” he said. “So that’s another month of my subordination.”

“The wedding’s in a month?” said Rae. “Isn’t that soon?”

“Well, Karen’s gran is not doing so well, and they want to get it done before she kicks the bucket,” he explained.

She frowned at him like she did not approve of his rather facetious choice of words.

“That’s also why, erm, the wedding’s taking place in Edinburgh,” he said, mumbling the last part.

“Edinburgh?” she said incredulously. “I’m not going to spend two days in Edinburgh with you.”

“I’ll do your bidding for a month, remember?” he pleaded.

“And this is all for, what, making your ex jealous so she’ll realize she wants you back?”

He was a little embarrassed that his ploy was so transparent.

She crossed her arms and exhaled loudly. “You’re paying for everything. My train, my hotel room, my food; everything.”

“Absolutely,” he said. “So you’ll do it?”

“Yes, dear.”

***

“Why did you bring me here?” Finn asked as he followed Rae through a women’s clothing store.

“I need something to wear to the wedding, and since you’re the one who wants me to go, you have to help me pick it out,” she said, flipping through a rack of dresses.

“Don’t you have anything at home?”

“Do I look like someone who owns a dress?”

“I don’t know what you wear in your personal life,” he muttered.

“Nothing like this,” she replied as she held up a rose-coloured lace dress.

“Fine, get it,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Ugh, I don’t want this one,” she said as she put it back.

“Why not?” he asked. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s pink.”

“So?”

“It’s not really my colour.”

“If it were up to you, you’d wear all black, wouldn’t you?”

“Now there’s an idea.” She started rifling through the rack to the section with black dresses.

“Come on, Rae, it’s a summer wedding. Wear a goddamn colour.”

She glowered at him for a moment before picking up the rose dress again. “Fine, I’ll try it on,” she said, and stopped to pick up something blue off another rack on her way to the fitting rooms.

Finn sat down in one of the seats outside the fitting rooms, alongside some other man that had gotten dragged out shopping. They nodded at each other in acknowledgement.

A few minutes later, Rae walked out in the lace dress and huffed. “What do you think?” she asked impatiently.

“Great,” said Finn, though he could not care at all. “Can we go now?”

“Hold on, I’ve got to try on the blue one,” she said.

“Why?”

“I need something to wear to the rehearsal dinner, too.”

“Jesus Christ,” he grumbled. “Hurry up.”

She returned to the dressing room, but within a couple minutes she was calling Finn’s name.

With an exasperated sigh, he hoisted himself out of his seat and walked over to the fitting rooms, though all the curtains were closed and he didn’t know which one Rae was in. “Rae?” he called out.

One curtain flew open and she stuck out her arm to motion for him to join her. “Get in here,” she hissed.

“What is it now?” he asked when he got to her fitting room.

She pulled him inside and drew the curtain shut. “I can’t reach the zipper on this dress,” she said as she turned her back to him. She quickly tied her hair up to get it out of the way so he could zip her up, which he did in a manner that made it seem like it was a painful ordeal for him.

He stood back to get a look at her in the mirror and realized that, with the style of the dress and her hair piled on top of her head, she reminded him a little of Bel Rowley on “The Hour.”

“Suitable?” she asked with her hands on her hips.

“Yeah, it’s fine, I guess,” he said, unable to admit that it actually looked pretty good.

“Okay, then unzip me and get the hell out.”

He did as she said and waited for her outside the fitting rooms once again. The other guy sitting in the chair looked at him in a way that made him feel he’d been caught doing something inappropriate.

“She needed help with the zipper,” Finn said awkwardly, miming the action of zipping up a dress

When Rae got out of the fitting rooms, she handed both dresses to Finn and said, “Pay for these while I go get an iced coffee, and I’ll meet you outside, ‘kay?” She patted him firmly on the shoulder and walked away.

What on Earth had he gotten himself into?

***

Finn was so sick of catering to Rae’s every whim, but it was too late for him to back out of the deal now. He’d already invested too much time and money into this scheme; he had to make it work.

“The fish and chip place is literally three blocks away from your flat,” he said when he arrived at Rae’s doorstep carrying a takeaway bag. “Why did you need me to get it for you?”

“Because that’s our arrangement, remember?” she replied as she grabbed the bag from him. “But you can have some if you want. They always give way too many chips at this place.”

He was going to decline, but he could feel his stomach rumbling, and sort of felt like he deserved to get something tangible after all the effort he’d put in the past couple of months.

“Yeah, all right,” he said, elbowing his way past her into the flat.

“Plates are in the cupboard above the sink,” she told him.

He rolled his eyes towards the ceiling and muttered curse words under his breath. Of course he was going to have to get everything to serve the food. Of course.

He managed to find forks in the drawer next to the sink as well, without any prompting.

Her kitchen was small, with just enough room for a table for two, though he suspected she didn’t have company that often. If she did, she probably would have kept her place tidier than this.

“You didn’t get vinegar?” said Rae when she opened the takeaway bag on the kitchen table.

“Sorry, I forgot,” Finn replied.

He worried that she was going to send him back to get some, but instead she just made a frustrated noise and sat down.

“What time does our train leave tomorrow?” she asked as she dumped some chips onto her plate.

“Ten in the morning,” he replied when she handed the bag of chips over to him. “So I’ll pick you up around half nine, and we’ll get to Edinburgh just after three. That’ll give us enough time to check into the hotel and get ready for dinner.”

“Jeez, I sort of forgot I’d have to spend five hours on a train with you. Each way,” she said.

“Yeah, well, after this weekend, we don’t have to speak to one another again, if we don’t feel like it,” he said. “I mean, they’re going to announce who gets that promotion soon, so chances are we won’t be sitting near each other for much longer at work.”

“Yeah…” She looked down at her plate and poked at her chips with her fork.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s good,” she said. “We just have to get through this weekend without killing each other.” She cast him a fake smile and he sneered.

He was going to be so glad to be rid of her when he got that promotion.

***

The train ride up to Edinburgh was exhausting. Rae complained about the seats that Finn had reserved, because they were not on the correct side of the train for viewing the coast as they went past. Then when they arrived, they argued over whether or not to get a cab to the hotel.

“It’s supposed to be just around the corner when we leave the station,” said Finn. “According to Google Maps.”

But upon exiting the railway station, they discovered that the street they wanted was actually four stories up from where they were, and the only way to get there was to climb an enormous staircase.

“I’m not dragging my suitcase up all those stairs,” said Rae, folding her arms.

“Fine,” he grumbled as he picked up her small rolling luggage with one arm, holding his own bag in the other. “I’ll carry it up, Your Majesty.”

They climbed the seemingly never-ending stairs, past the graffito of the word “Kyle,” all the way up to the next level of streets.

“I’m never… doing that… again,” she said, almost completely out of breath.

He wasn’t doing so great either, and had to lift the bottom of his t-shirt to wipe the sweat from his face. “What?” he asked when he noticed Rae was looking at him.

“Nothing,” she said, quickly diverting her attention elsewhere. “Let’s just go, please?”

They managed to find their hotel and get checked in, but when they got up to their room, Rae asked a very important question.

“Where’s the other bed?”

Finn frowned as he looked at the space in front of them. A solitary bed sat in the middle of the room, against the far wall. There was a small dresser off to the side, but nowhere else to sleep.

“I thought I booked a double room,” he said. “But maybe I just booked a double-occupancy instead.”

“I hope you like sleeping on the floor, then,” she replied, wheeling her suitcase over to the other side of the room.

“Why do I have to be the one to sleep on the floor?”

“Because this whole thing was your fault.”

“Can’t we just, you know… share?” he suggested.

She looked at him like he’d just proposed that they share a needle.

“Oh, be a grown-up,” he added. “It’s not like I’m going to try any funny business with you, I just want to sleep on a goddamn mattress.”

“Ugh, whatever,” she grumbled. “I need to shower.”

“Don’t take too long,” he said as she grabbed a few items out of her suitcase to bring to the bathroom. “I’m next.”

Finn had nearly started to drift off, sitting at the top of the bed and waiting for Rae to finish her shower, when she appeared in one of the hotel robes with her hair tied up on top of her head, presumably to keep it from getting wet.

“Your turn,” she said to him, though he almost didn’t hear her, as he was too busy trying not to look at her.

It wasn’t until he was in the shower that he realized he’d left his change of clothes on the bed, and would have to go out there in a robe as well. He didn’t trust it, though, as he pulled the ties tight around his waist, worried that it was going to slip open and leave him exposed.

“Can you give us a hand?” Rae said to him once he was out of the bathroom. She turned her back to him again, revealing the open zipper of her dress.

“What would you do if I wasn’t here?” he asked as he went to zip her up begrudgingly.

“If you weren’t here, then I wouldn’t be here, hence I wouldn’t be wearing this dress,” she said, like it should have been obvious.

“My mistake.”

“Quit your moaning,” she said. “I’m doing all of this for you, out of the kindness of my heart.”

“You’re doing it for my servitude, which, by the way, is done as soon as the wedding’s over.”

“Fine.” She tugged on the sides of her dress to get it to sit properly and added, “You’d better hurry up and get dressed.”

“I was about to before you asked me for help,” he griped, grabbing his change of clothes.

By the time he re-emerged from the bathroom, he was fully dressed, and Rae was applying mascara in the full-length mirror, her hair arranged into a messy chignon at the back—not that he had any idea what a chignon was.

She looked… different. Not _bad_ , exactly, but not like herself.

“Jesus Fucking Christ,” she grumbled as she started blinking profusely. “Got myself in the eye again.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear makeup,” Finn said, sitting down on the end of the bed to watch her with amusement.

“Yeah, there’s a reason for that,” she said. “I’m terrible at it.”

She finally finished and stood back to look at herself, frowning.

“What’s wrong now?” he said as he let his head fall back in exasperation.

“I look ridiculous,” she said, smoothing out her dress.

“You don’t,” he assured her.

“You’re not even looking!”

He lifted his head again and focused his eyes on her. “You look fine,” he said. “It may not be your usual level of casualness, sure, but it’s not terrible.”

“Not terrible? If you want your ex-girlfriend to be jealous, I have to look better than _not terrible_ ,” she said.

“All right, you look good!” he snapped. “Better now?”

“No need to get testy with me; I’m just doing you a favour.”

“Oh my god, do you ever shut up?”

She looked like she wanted to say something, but stopped herself. Instead she trudged over to her suitcase to get what was probably the only pair of dress shoes that she owned.

Finn stood up and took a tentative step towards her. “I’m… I’m sorry I yelled at you, okay?”

“Do you have to be so mean all the time?” she asked, sounding more sincere than he’d ever heard her.

He frowned in confusion. “You think _I’m_ mean? You’re the one who’s always giving me a hard time about stuff.”

“At least I don’t make fun of the way you look.”

“I didn’t! I said you looked good.”

“Yeah, sarcastically,” she said.

“I wasn’t being sarcastic,” he replied, though there was frustration in his voice. He just didn’t get why should couldn’t take anything he said at face value.

Was he really that mean to her?

“Okay,” he finally said, as she stood there pouting. “I’m sorry if I made you think I was being sarcastic. Can we please just go now?”

“Fine,” she said, heading for the door. “Oh, and the buttons on your shirt are in the wrong holes,” she added before leaving swiftly.

He looked down at his shirt to see that it was crooked. “Dammit.”

***

The rehearsal dinner went rather well. Rae had everyone laughing again, except Stacey who kept giving her the stink-eye, which Finn took as a good sign.

It was starting to seem as though Rae were the perfect choice for the role; most people found her likeable, which only served to make Stacey dislike her more. It was just a matter of time before his plan came to fruition.

When Finn returned to the hotel room with Rae, he collapsed onto the bed, face first.

“Oi!” said Rae, causing him to flip over to look at her. “Get me out of this god-awful dress.”

He sat up in the bed but didn’t get out of it. “Come here, I’m too tired to get up.”

She walked over to him and turned around so he could get her zipper before she grabbed a change of clothes and went to the bathroom.

He figured he would take the opportunity to get changed as well, but it wasn’t until he was down to his underwear that he remembered he hadn’t brought any pyjamas. He usually just wore his vest and shorts to sleep, and he had thought he was going to have his own bed for the night.

Uncertain of what he should do, he got under the covers when he heard the bathroom door open to try and hide, hoping she just wouldn’t notice.

Rae came out wearing the robe again, and for a second Finn thought she didn’t have anything on underneath.

“You’re on my side,” she said as she walked up to him.

“How is this your side?” he asked, holding the blankets tight.

“I always sleep on this side.”

“You live alone.”

“Yes, but when I have… a guest… I always sleep on this side.”

He didn’t really like the thought of her _entertaining guests_ for some reason, but he scooted over to the other side of the bed anyway. He tried not to watch as she took off her robe, though he couldn’t help but notice that she was just wearing a long sleep-shirt, which didn’t even go down to her knees. It was moderately distracting.

“God, move over!” she grumbled as she got into the bed.

“I’m already as far as I can go,” he replied in frustration.

She sat up to look over him, and he held the blankets down so she wouldn’t catch a glimpse of his underwear. “You have tons of space left; I’m right at the edge!”

“You are not,” he said. “Quit complaining.”

She huffed but didn’t say anything as she rolled away onto her side, tugging the covers with her. He started to pull them back when she shifted and he felt her bum on the side of his leg.

“You’re in the way,” she said.

“I’m on my side,” he argued. “It’s _your butt_ sticking into my side of the bed.”

“My butt sticks out, okay? Deal with it.”

He turned to face away from her, though he couldn’t find a position where some part of him was not in contact with her.

The bed was so cold and she was so warm, part of him wanted to just roll with it and snuggle up to her, but there was no way he was doing that. She would totally get the wrong idea, because she was ridiculous like that.

***

“Finn,” Rae said early the next morning.

He was still mostly asleep when he replied, “Hm?”

“You can stop spooning me, you pervert,” she said, pushing his arm off her side so she could pull down her sleep-shirt, which had ridden up past her hip.

It took him a few seconds to realize where he was and that he did, in fact, have his arm around her.

“And you get your boner off me, too, thanks,” she added, and he quickly rolled away, piling the blankets on top of himself.

“This isn’t for you, by the way,” he said defensively as she got out of the bed. “It’s just a thing that happens in the morning.”

“Okay,” she said without looking back as she headed towards the bathroom.

He watched her walking away for a moment until he realized that wasn’t helping his situation.

***

Finn and Rae hardly said a word to each other as they got ready to go down and have their complimentary breakfast downstairs.

“Wow,” said Finn when they had sat down and started eating. “This waffle is really good. Usually they aren’t that great, buffet-style like this, but this one is really excellent and—”

“Keep it in your pants, Finn,” she said flippantly.

“I told you,” he replied in a low voice, clenching his hands into fists, “it was just a thing that happens—” He stopped when he looked back up and noticed she was smiling down at her plate. “What?”

“Nothing, I believe you,” she said, though the way she was still smiling suggested that she did not.

“It’s not like _you_ could have that effect on me,” he added, stabbing his fork into a piece of crispy bacon and causing it to break apart.

Her smile faded quickly. “Good, I’m glad,” she said bitterly before she stood up, dropping her cutlery onto her plate. “I’ll see you back in our room when you’re done here.”

Finn looked down at his food as she stormed off, feeling a little guilty about having said that to her, especially considering it wasn’t strictly true. But it wasn’t as though he wanted her thinking he fancied her or anything. Technically speaking, he still hated her; his body just had other ideas about the matter.

He sat, staring at the table for a minute, trying to decide whether or not to follow her. What would he say, anyway?

He didn’t exactly make up his mind, however; he just found himself getting up and heading to the lifts without even thinking about it. When he got up to their room, he found the bathroom door was shut, and assumed Rae must be inside. He wasn’t sure what to do, so he sat on the bed waiting for her to come out.

She emerged shortly, looking surprised to see him there. Her eyes were a bit red, too.

“Were you… crying in there?” he asked as he stood up.

“It’s not for you, okay?” she said. “It’s just a thing that happens in the morning.” She laughed but it came out more like a sob.

“Look, I’m sorry if—”

“Don’t,” she said sternly. “It’s not like I’m dying to have your stiffy pressed against me ever again, it’s just… you’re not the first person to let me know how unappealing you find me, which I think is needlessly insensitive.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just didn’t want you getting the wrong idea about me.”

“I get it,” she retorted. “Don’t worry, I’d never think that about you, of all people.”

Finn wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not. “Why not me, of all people?” he asked.

“You’re kind of… shallow.”

“I’m not shallow!”

“This whole thing about tricking your ex into taking you back? Shallow.”

“Okay, but that’s not all of who I am,” he said. “I care about things. I care about people.”

“If you say so,” she replied, walking past him to get to her suitcase.

“Hey, wait,” he said as he grabbed her by the arm to stop her. “Don’t act like you know me, all right? You don’t know me. You’ve never tried to get to know me. If anything, you’re the one who’s shallow for making assumptions about me!”

She looked down at her arm where his hand was holding onto her, then up at him, frowning. He let go quickly.

“I just mean—” he began.

“No, you’re right,” she said. “I made assumptions about you. But I’ve never once seen you do anything to dispel them.”

“What about all that shit I did for you?” he said. “All the reports and the grocery runs and the dress-shopping—don’t you think that required a bit of consideration and patience on my part?”

“You only did all of that so I’d help you!”

“Yeah, well, if you were so nice, you would have just helped me out without me having to do all that stuff!”

She stood there fuming for a moment, and Finn thought he had won the argument, though when she still didn’t say anything, he wondered at what cost. She usually had a comeback for everything, even if it was just a dismissive, “Okay.” Did he break her?

Suddenly, she started laughing, which surprised him.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“We’re both terrible people, aren’t we?” she said, still laughing.

“We’re not _terrible_ people. We’re just… maybe not the best people.” He started laughing a little, too.

“Come on, let’s go get some actual breakfast somewhere,” she added. “Those sad little waffles just aren’t cutting it for me. My treat.”

***

The morning with Rae was one of the more pleasant times Finn had ever had with her, after the initial turbulence. They managed to find a breakfast place without getting too lost or having to climb too many hills, except for taking a stroll up Victoria Street because it looked cool and they had time to kill.

Getting back to their room, Finn immediately flopped backwards onto the bed that had been made while they were out.

“I have to say, Rae,” he said with his hands behind his head, “you can be sort of fun, when you’re not trying to make my life a living hell.”

“I know,” she replied, lying down next to him as there was nowhere else in the room to sit. “There’s a reason all your friends adore me.”

“They do, don’t they?”

“Pretty much.”

He turned his head to look at her. “So why are you always giving me a hard time?”

“I dunno,” she said as she stared up at the ceiling. “You give me a hard time, too.”

“If you’ll recall, I tried being nice to you when you first started, and you made some joke about me being impotent, remember?”

“Hah, oh yeah. I forgot about that one,” she said. “I guess you proved me wrong, though.”

“Why’d you do it?” he asked, choosing to ignore her last comment in the hopes that the entire incident might be wiped from both their minds. “Why didn’t you even try to be nice to me?”

“I guess,” she began, finally looking over at him, “I was just pulling your pigtails.”

“What?”

“God, this is embarrassing,”—she looked away again—“but I have a really hard time talking to guys that I think are cute, so I resort to making fun of them. And you just so happen to fall into that category.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but I also thought you were a shallow prick.”

“Ah.”

She laughed again. “I suppose I wanted you to feel like I was rejecting you before you could reject me. That sounds really fucked up, doesn’t it?”

“You’re talking to the guy trying to emotionally manipulate his ex-girlfriend, here,” he replied.

“Anyway,” she continued, “I’m sorry I never gave you a chance not to be a prick.”

“Apology accepted.” He nudged her with his arm. “Should we get ready now, or what? We have a wedding to attend.”

***

Rae was a hit at the wedding reception, too, making people laugh, and even dancing with Karen’s handsy old uncle.

“Oh my goodness,” said Steve’s mother after Rae had cracked a joke. “Finn, where did you find this girl? She’s wonderful!”

“She sure is,” Finn replied, slipping his arm around Rae to give her a squeeze.

“We met at work, actually,” Rae said as she put her hand on top of his. “Our desks were right across from each other, so it was only a matter of time before he wore me down. Isn’t that right, sugar plum?”

“You bet,” he said, trying to make the smile on his face seem like it was because he was happy to be with her, and not because he thought what she said was funny.

“Sugar plum?” he added with a laugh once he and Rae were alone.

She smirked and shrugged her shoulders.

He laughed again and wondered why it had taken him so long to realize that she was actually kind of fun to be around. “It’s almost too bad, when you think about it,” he said, leaning against the wall.

“What is?” she asked.

“That we’ve just started getting along, but soon _one of us_ will probably be leaving our little desk area at work,” he said.

“Yeah… About that…” she began, taking on a solemn tone. “I’m not supposed to say anything, but Greg told me on Thursday that they’d finally be officially announcing who they hired next week.”

“Why’d he… tell you that?”

“Well, because—because I got the job, Finn.”

He could feel his stomach drop like a rock. He never actually suspected that she would get promoted before he did, not with his eight months of seniority. There had to be some sort of mistake.

“Well?” she added. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

He snapped his head up to glare at her. “Congratulations,” he spat.

“That’s not what I meant—” she said as he started to walk away. “Finn!”

He ignored her and kept walking. He just needed to get outside, to get some fresh air after the truth got dumped on him.

“Finn?”

He saw Stacey standing under an archway and headed towards her. “What’re you doing out here by yourself?” he asked.

She held up her cigarette to answer his question. She had no qualms about smoking in front of him, though, even back when he was trying to quit.

“What are you doing out here?” she asked him.

“I just needed to get away from… all the noise,” he said.

“You mean coming out of your girlfriend’s mouth?” she replied with a sarcastic laugh. “I haven’t heard her shut up since she got here.”

“She can be… talkative.”

“She’s given me a headache,” Stacey added, lifting her cigarette to her lips. “I don’t get what you see in her, in all honesty, Finn.”

“I dunno,” he muttered. “She’s a laugh, sometimes.”

She stared at him as she exhaled a puff of smoke. “Our breakup must have really done a number on you, huh? To rebound with _that_.”

He flinched as the smoke reached him, but didn’t say anything.

“Sometimes I wonder,” she continued, with a seemingly deliberate pause, “did we make a mistake splitting up?”

“You’re the one who split us up, remember?” he said.

“Well, maybe I acted a little rash. I mean, you clearly need me in your life.” She placed her free hand on his chest as she sidled up to him.

He looked down at her hand and then at her face again. “You think?”

“Your life’s a mess, sweetie,” she said. “Your girlfriend’s a mess. You should be with someone who can hold you together, the way I do.”

“She’s not a mess,” he said, pushing her hand away as he came to a sudden realization. “And you don’t hold me together. You’re the one who broke me, and I don’t just mean when you dumped me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner,” he said as he shook his head. “All this time I thought I was manipulating you, but you were manipulating me. You made me believe that I had to be with you to be happy, even though I wasn’t happy with you.”

Stacey scoffed. “And you’re happy with that loudmouth?”

“You know what? I think I am,” he said. “Excuse me, I have to go rectify something.”

He left her standing there as he walked back inside to try and find Rae. He had to apologize to her for being a baby about her getting the promotion; she did deserve it. But when he got back to where he’d been standing with her, she was no longer there.

Finn searched the whole place for her, and eventually started asking people if they’d seen her.

“Karen,” he said, rushing up to the bride, “sorry to bother you on your big night, but have you seen Rae around here in the past ten minutes?”

“Oh, she already came and said goodbye,” said Karen. “Said she wasn’t feeling well and was going back to the hotel. Didn’t you take her?”

“She, er, probably didn’t want to bother me, the sweetheart,” he replied. “I should get back to her, though. Thanks.”

***

When Finn got to their hotel room, the light was off, and he thought that Rae might not have been back yet until he stepped into the room and saw her lying in the bed, illuminated by the glow of her phone screen.

“Whatcha doin’?” he asked as he turned on the light.

“Twitter,” said Rae, still staring at her phone.

“In the dark?”

“Well, I was planning on going to sleep in a minute.”

It was then that Finn noticed she was out of her dress and wearing her sleep shirt as she was tucked under the covers. “Sorry.”

She turned on the bedside lamp so that he could switch the main light off and still see enough to get himself ready for bed as well.

“I’m surprised you’ve returned,” she said. “I saw you talking to Stacey, and figured she’d have taken you back by now.”

“She did, sort of,” he replied, kicking off his shoes next to the bed.

“What does that mean?” she asked as began to remove his waistcoat. She was still looking at her phone and seemed disinterested in his answer, though.

“She said that it may have been a mistake to break up with me,” he said. “And that it looks like I need her in my life.”

“Pfft!”

“Yeah, well,” he continued, taking off his tie, “as she was talking, it hit me that she actually made my life horrible and that I’m better off without her.”

Rae finally looked up from her phone. “I could have told you that.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“I figured it was something you needed to realize for yourself,” she said. “I’m just surprised you did it that quickly.”

“I realized something else, too,” he said. “That I was a total dickhead about your promotion. I should have just been happy for you.”

“Really?”

He sat down on the edge of the bed and started unbuttoning his shirt. “Of course. I was just being dumb and selfish.”

“I wasn’t trying to rub it in your face or anything. I just didn’t want you getting your hopes up only to be let down next week,” she said. “Also, I sort of wanted to know what you thought…”

He turned to look at her. “What I thought?”

“It’s just… I’m not entirely sure I can do it.”

“Of course you can do it,” he said, shifting so he could sit with his back against the headboard beside her. “You wouldn’t have gotten the job otherwise.”

“You were so surprised when I told you, though. Part of you must think I don’t deserve it.”

He hadn’t understood before just how much his actions had affected her. “Okay for a second I felt like I should have gotten it instead of you,” he admitted, “but only because I’ve been there longer—and that has nothing to do with whether or not you are capable and is just me being a jerk.”

“It’s going to be weird, though,” she said. “Having my own office and everything. Not sitting across from you.”

“Yeah…”

“Not being able to watch you make your concentration face while you do actual work for five minutes during the day.” She laughed and tapped him on the arm.

“Hey, I do actual work for at least twice that long every day.” He laughed as well. “I didn’t realize you watched me, though.”

“Your concentration face amuses me.”

“I also didn’t realize I had a concentration face.”

“It’s kind of like your annoyed-at-me face, which also amuses me,” she said.

“Well, maybe you can ask to switch offices with Paola,” he said. “I think she has a direct sightline of me.”

“How would you know?”

“I can see her, so presumably…”

She smiled and looked down at her phone again, even though the screen was off. “I think I’ll manage.”

“Hey,” he said, giving her a nudge. “I don’t think I’ve properly thanked you for helping me out this weekend, even if things didn’t quite go according to plan.”

“You don’t have to thank me; you did all that stuff for me the past couple months,” she said. “Besides, it was kind of fun being your girlfriend.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I mean, I like your friends and stuff.”

“Well, they like you, too."

“It’s kind of a shame,” she added “that you and I don’t really like each other.”

“I don’t _not_ like you,” he said. “It’s just that until this morning you were a huge pain in my ass. And now you’re… a huge pain in my ass that I’m gonna miss.”

“I can still be a huge pain in your ass from my new office, you know.”

“Good, I’m counting on it.” He chuckled softly and continued removing his shirt before lifting the blanket so he could lie down.

“What are you doing?” she asked when she looked at him and saw he was taking off his trousers under the covers.

“I can’t sleep with my trousers on,” he said.

“It’s weird that you’re taking them off in the bed, though.”

“I don’t exactly want you to see my underwear, now, do I?”

“Believe it or not, I’ve actually seen men’s underwear before,” she said. “Unless yours are covered in tiny hearts or something embarrassing like that.”

“I’m not telling.”

“Well, now I’m curious.”

He held the blanket firmly around himself to keep her from lifting it and getting a look, but that didn’t stop her from trying.

“It is, isn’t it?” she said as she attempted to pry the blankets off of him. “Tiny hearts, am I right?”

“None of your business,” he replied, shoving her arms away.

She wrestled against him, so he ended up grabbing her hands and pushing her back. He pinned them down above her head, though he was halfway out of the blankets now.

“You know,” she said, “if I crane my neck, I can probably get a glimpse—”

Before Rae could lift her head, Finn did the first thing he could think to do; he kissed her. He wasn’t entirely sure why. It was partially to stop her from looking, yes, but some part of him just wanted to do it.

“Finn,” she said quietly as he drew his head back, and he worried what she might say. Was she going to be confused? Upset? Angry?

“Kissing me is not the way to get me to stop wondering what you’ve got going on down there,” she added with a laugh. “Just sayin’.”

“My god, you’re annoying,” he said, and kissed her again.

***

“How’re things in your shiny new office?” Finn asked Rae as he stood in the doorway of her workspace.

“Beats working in the bullpen with you poor sods,” she retorted with a smirk.

“Yeah, I suppose it must be nice that you can just be on Reddit all day instead of actually getting work done and no one will ever find out.”

“I’m not _you_ , Finn.”

“Oh. Right.”

“How’s your new desk mate?” she asked, flipping through some papers on her desk like she was looking for something.

“He’s fine, just, you know,” he said, “he hasn’t once yet called me impotent.”

“Give it time.”

He gave her a sarcastic smile. “On that note, am I coming ‘round to yours tonight?”

“What kind of question is that?” she said. “Of course you are. And you’re bringing the fish and chips.”

“Yes, dear.”

 

 


End file.
